He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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