You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
