she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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