Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
