Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have surprise drugs for everyone
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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