Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
