Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
