he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
