oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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