Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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