how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
