dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize