I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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