I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
