did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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