i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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