Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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