What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
