i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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