My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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