the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
