Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
