What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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