He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize