I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
