The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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