If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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