Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
