nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
