he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
