a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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