Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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