Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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