CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
