he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
