last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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