there was a trapeze. enough said
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Randomize
