The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
