everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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