You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
