Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I FOUND THE LEGS
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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