When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
