I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
