You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
