Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
