Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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