wakey wakey hands off snakey
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
