They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
im six kinds of drunk right now
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
