dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
