Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
