i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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