If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
