i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
