i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
