Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
