i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
