I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
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