If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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