420 ftw
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
