Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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