Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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