I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
True college students do jello shots in the library
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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