What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
