I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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