Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
