Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
